Dual sex therapy
Sexuality is an important component of existence, a basic human need, and a nontrivial factor in
assuring holistic health and wellness. Passion drives all humans. Understanding human sexuality,
its mandates, requisites, and preferences are essential to attain fulfilling sexual experiences.
Sexuality isn’t a taboo as once was deemed. It is a matter of deliberate choice and making the
right choice for oneself is always prudent. A blend of the appropriate desire to please and the
incessant will to satisfy; over and above the wish to experience pleasure oneself drives the
sensual soul. Sex therapy is aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of self as
well as the other’s needs. Each participant is encouraged to focus on their own varied sensual
experience rather than to see physical satisfaction as the sole goal of sexual encounters. This
enriches the self as well as the relationship.
Principles of therapy
While sexuality and sensuality seem to be natural and instinctive, there are nonetheless rules
and guidelines to mend connections that have been tarnished. Sex therapy is essentially a form
of behavior modification. Impaired sexual satisfaction primarily stems from perceived
inadequacies, emotional distractions, and deep-rooted anxieties. These imprint on the vulnerable
mind and cause fear to become conditioned. This implies that impaired sexuality is learned and
practiced and reinforced; and to correct it these faulty styles have to be unlearned, diverted
away from and the appropriate techniques need to be relearned. A willingness to identify the
deep-seated trouble, accept it and take deliberate steps is the premise of sex therapies.
Process of Therapy
This process is known as ‘dual’ as both partners come forward for inducing self-change. The
process involves individual sessions with each partner with a detailed assessment of personal
points of view over the perceived problem. Subsequently, the therapist delves into the real or
rather perceived inadequacies of the self and the partner. All the discussion is kept
confidential even though sessions are alternated between the couple. Through this exercise, the
therapist identifies the turmoil and its perceived cause, and its specific impact on the sexual
experience of the couple. Techniques targeted at diminishing expectations and augmenting
pleasure for the other are provided. Fulfilling sexual experiences are considered to be an
extension of love, thus the nonphysical attraction component is stressed upon in great detail.
Techniques adopted
There is a multitude of techniques that appeal to different individuals based on the core issues
they are dealing with. Some of these include:
- Cognitive therapy: This entails reappraisals of the relationship and what role each of the
partners has to play in the relationship dyad to keep each other happy.
- Behavior therapy: This entails the assessment and management of negative emotional
experiences that have been clubbed with sexuality influencing it negatively.
- Rationally emotive therapy (REBT): This helps to sort differences in the partners and make
them more accepting of the others’ traits and preferences.
- Transactional analysis: This allows to gauge the ego states in each of the partners and
match the strokes they give one another to attain better outcomes.
- Sensate focus: This is a technique that allows the partners to focus on their sensory
perceptive modalities and ‘feel their partners without having intercourse.
- Sex therapy: This involves the hands-on tips and techniques for bettering the sexual
encounter using sensate focus and learning newer interesting techniques.
Inhibit inhibitions
Denial of a problem is the single largest hindrance in the path of self-growth. Years may
pass before one accepts that sexual inadequacy can be instrumental in disruption of
relationships, reduction of emotional intimacy as well as general frustration and
irritability. Help can only benefit. Never hesitate to reach out to a helping hand when
needed. Like all basic needs, unless this one is fulfilled, we cannot attain greater and
more desirable heights.